Naked...

Naked .. is probably one of the hardest things to interpret with photos or art ..even though it seems obvious ..For the past two days I've struggled with being naked ..looked at dozens of naked pictures of people ..buildings ..I've drawn myself naked trying attach a picture to the feeling of being truly naked ...in front of another human...What I have learned is that being naked has absolutely nothing to do with clothing..it's a state of mind that we mask in sexuality in order to make it seem ok..I have been photographed nude,painted nude, I have seen my naked body through the eyes the artist..and blushed as people walked up to me on the street and said "hey is that you on the wall at Botello Gallery"? I have been introduced as" the woman who is hanging on my wall" by people who were very proud to have my blatant nudity as conversation with their afternoon espresso.
They just saw the artist interpretation of my body..Most of the work was majestic, large , regal if you will..but they did not see that..they saw flesh..and sensuality that comes with the bravery of allowing yourself to be seen.. they saw POWER.. and with time so did I..
The most memorable pieces were made by Raquel Pawelonski, Rabindranat Diaz and Victor Vazquez..and one young photographer who's name I cannot remember and who's face I will never forget. And as time went buy I viewed my own nudity the same way a spectator would.. I saw flesh and sensuality..I lost my vulnerability as my desire to be undressed only included the outer layers of my clothing ans stopped when the last piece of lace was removed. I understood what is was to be nude..and could not even pronounce the word naked ...It sounded raw against my eardrums and got caught on the back of my tongue when I said it..
I don't know how to end this blogpost ..as I am in uncharted territory..


"I have always been brave enough to show you..but to afraid to let you in..because letting you in would mean you would be there forever..I don't respond well to WE and US because in the end that never has anything to do with ME..I carry my heart on my sleeve and many times it makes it's way to the hem of my skirt..yes..it's the only way to keep you away from my soul..a distraction that has worked for many years.." You say "there is a fine line between what is complicated and what is complex".. That line is me ..."

-Lola Gatillo

RIP Lolita Lebron Thank you for being who you were...The right kind of NAKED...