Wednesday, December 23, 2009

One woman Roadtrip Part 1

So you may noticed that in my last post , though very witty was full of desperate housewife wannabe angst. As excited as I am to start my new adventure, there were so many unresolved issues. Needles to say my poor little Jetta was loaded up with much more than just shoes and make up.Once I made it to Maryland I had to stop at the local "Bag Ladies are Us" and rent a trailer to haul all of the emotional baggage I thought I had left behind.
I slipped through the ice of a frozen over Virginia, it took me longer than I thought to be able to successfully navigate the snow lined highway with this extra baggage on my tail. I decided to make a pit stop at an old friends house , to get my bearings and ask him what would be the best way to haul this extra trailer all the way to Florida without killing myself along the road.
Unbeknown st to me , my dear old friend lives in the sticks of Virginia on an old Plantation that was built in 1701. As I walked the expertly preserved home and grounds..I was reminded that I had finally crossed the Confederate line and was smack in the middle of a plantation that housed over 2oo slaves in the early days of it's development. My stomach turned as I toured the main house and found the very last room at the bottom of the stairs. it was small, brick lined and the fire place did not have a mantel, it was just a hole in the wall. This is where the nannies the cooks and the folks that had to be at their masters beck and call slept. I turned off the light and sat in the 12x10 room with the light from my cell phone acting as a candle and cried. I cried for there suffering , praised their bravery, rejoiced in their escape and at the same time learned that there are two kinds of slavery that the human condition can be submitted to: 1.Physical Slavery 2. Slavery of the soul..And then I wept for myself, as I realized that my life, in comparison to a slave in the 1700's is full of choices..That while others had no choice but to submit..I had created situations in my life that enslaved me physically , emotionally and spiritually. That instead of taking my "Good Ct Baggage" like the good friends and sisters that shared their children with me , their life experiences, their pain,their undying friendship and a new understanding of God. I was hauling around a trailer full of what was my own doing, a load of crap that I could not pin on the pill popping women I worked with or the ones that were my neighbors...So right there on that dirt trail in the middle of the woods . I prayed and with the guidance of this amazing woman, and you know who you are. I unhitched the trailer..and made the first step into the rest of my life.....

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